I tried to make Kelly laugh the whole car journey can’t believe what those sick people wrote in that magazine, she’s the most beautiful girl in the world. She bites her lip when she smiles, her hair has a natural middle parting even though she try’s her best to put it at the side but it always goes back to the middle, her hair flicks where it just hits her shoulders and her nose has a slight wrinkle when she laughs. She’s perfect.
SUGARSCAPE GIVES ONE DIRECTION NEW ANSWERS TO THE DULL QUESTIONS THEY KEEP GETTING ASKED
Q 1:How did you guys form?
Louis:It was quite strange actually; we met on a forum for young men with pigeon fetishes. Niall began writing self help songs on his guitar and we’d all Skype each other and sing them. Next thing we knew we were in a band.
Q 2:So you entered X Factor as solo artists?
Liam:X Factor? No, we don’t know where this rumour has come from. There was a talent contest for all the Pigeon Loving is Erotic Boys (PLEBs) and we entered that as a five-piece and came sixth out of eight. We were over the moon.
Q 3:Did you know each other before?
Harry:Yes we used to meet up every Wednesday evening and look at pictures of a pigeon named Kevin.
Q 4:What advice did Simon Cowell give you?
Zayn:He told us to never be ourselves, to hide all aspects of our personalities, be violent and to stop all relations with pigeons. We’re gutted.
Q 5:What are your roles within the band?
Harry:I’m the ugly one.
Niall:I’m the English one.
Zayn:I like to punch things.
Liam:I also like to provoke mindless violence.
Louis:I’m the manly one.
Q 6:What’s it like having all the crowds and screaming girls?
Niall:We get a little arsy about it actually; we find they scare off the pigeons.
Q 7:Do you have Simon Cowell’s phone number?
Louis:Simon doesn’t use phones. He communicates through messages delivered by masked horsemen.
Q 8:Would you date a fan?
Liam:Yes. I’d date all the fans, all together at the same time. I’d video everything I did with them and then post it on the internet straight away. That’s the kinda guy I am.
Q 9:Do you have girlfriends?
Harry:We can’t answer that, last time we did Kevin the Pigeon was put on suicide watch.
Q 10:What makes you so huge?
Niall:I dunno really, (pulls down trousers) is it really that huge?
Niall nudged me when we got to his “You look so cute when you sleep” “No I don’t I dribble!” “You weren’t dribbling I promise” I opened the car door and put the number into the door to the apartments while Niall got my bag , I slowly walked up the stairs knowing I had to put a brave face on when I rang the doorbell.